Redneck Barbequing in Hawaii? Yes, Really

Photo courtesy of Google Images
Photo courtesy of Google Images

On our recent trip to Kauai, we decided to barbeque burgers for lunch. My husband lit the coals (Kingsford Match-Light variety) on the open air grill. Then he lit them again, and again. No joy.

“What we need is more lighter fluid,” I said, genius that I am. My husband blinks twice. “Well, there is a bottle of it in the dumpster behind the cabin,” he said, “but with my wrist (he had surgery in March), I can’t quite climb in to get it.”

And then a slow smile crept over his face.

“N-no,” I said emphatically. “I won’t do it. I will not climb into a dumpster to retrieve a can of lighter fluid. It’s wrong, so wrong.”

And then he had an idea.

We went over to the dumpster and, using the broom he’d carried over, he tried to corral the canister to the corner and lift it up. It didn’t work. We looked at each other and began laughing hysterically. “Okay,” I said, “I’ll do it.” And then I began to climb into the dumpster.

One leg over the edge, my husband stopped me. “No, wait, this is a military base. We can’t do this. What if someone is watching? I’ll be disgraced forever.” And so I climbed out of the dumpster and doubled over laughing, tears streaming down both our faces.

And then I had an idea.

I emerged from the cottage a few minutes later carrying a long pair of barbeque tongs. Using the broom, I pushed the can of lighter fluid over to the corner. My husband then leaned into the dumpster and secured the bottle, successfully lifting it from the dumpster.

Equipment for Redneck Burgers. Photo by Suzanne Whitfield Vince
Equipment for Redneck Burgers. Photo by Suzanne Whitfield Vince
Photo by Suzanne Whitfield Vince
Photo by Suzanne Whitfield Vince

Thirty minutes later we ate our redneck burgers and I must say, they were delicious.

What about you? What is the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of food?

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Coming up:
Next Tuesday: Study: 25% of Men Travel with a Teddy Bear

Next Friday: Sacrificial Virgin Wanted: Stupid Tourist Will Do

 

 

 

7 comments on… “Redneck Barbequing in Hawaii? Yes, Really”


  1. Melissa Lewicki


    Fun post! Sounds like you have a good time no matter what!

  2. So you’re dumpster divers? I wouldn’t have thought it.

    Didn’t you have a kid with you? That’s what kids are for. If you get caught, blame it on a teenager being stupid. No one will ever know.

    Glad you gott he job done. Persistance is a good quality even if it does take you down some strange roads.

    I can’t say as I have had any interesting food challenges lately, although I once used finger nail polish remover to get some charcoal lit. I don’t recommend that method, but it did work after several tries.

    Patricia Rickrode
    w/a Jansen Schmidt

    • Nail polish remover, yikes! How did the food taste afterward? My daughter wanted NOTHING to do with us when she saw what we were up to 🙂

      • The food was excellent. I only used enough remover to saturate the coals then let them burn way down to almost ash before cooking on them. Boy, of boy, did I get a flare up when I lit that match though. Whew!

        And I’m glad that you guys have a “where there’s a will there’s a way” attitude. Keep it up.

        Patricia

  3. The funniest one that comes to mind was when we took my hubby out for a “rustic” camping trip for his birthday – March 1st. We didn’t actually do a tent, but rented a nice little cabin right on the river. Rather than actually use the kitchen, I searched online for all kinds of campfire cooking. I actually attempted the campfire biscuits…which didn’t work. The pancakes over the open grill did though. My hubby got loads of hysterical pictures of “pioneer camping woman”–me over an open flame. Yeah, I’m not doing that again for awhile. 🙂

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