The Gift of Fear: Déjà vu or Reincarnation?

Photo via Flickr Creative Commons courtesy of pensive_varshni
Photo via Flickr Creative Commons courtesy of pensive_varshni

Many of us have fears that, for whatever reason, we don’t share with others (even the ones we love). Our secret fears. Last week I talked about my secret fear: the fear of death (see The Gift of Fear: Becoming Friendly with Your Fear), and how I was able to overcome the stranglehold it once had on me.

Today I’m going to talk about how I actually overcame my fear of death. And I’ll just warn you right now, it’s a rather woo-woo (out there) story. And so I’ll offer this disclaimer: If you are not open to the possibility that your soul may have passed this way before (i.e. reincarnation), you may wish to stop reading here (but I hope you don’t).

It began like this. In January of 2009, as I was meandering through the country roads on my way to work—the same roads I’d been driving for seven years at that point—I passed a pickup truck towing a trailer (not an unusual or significant experience), and a shiver of fear passed through me like an electrical current. And just as quickly, the feeling passed.

Until the next time.

Over the course of the next two months, every time I passed a pickup towing a trailer, my fear intensified. It got so severe that when I saw one coming, I’d grip the steering wheel with both hands and hold my breath as it passed. When my carpool mate was driving, I’d clench my hands, hold my breath and close my eyes.

And with each passing day, I began to experience the sensation of a head-on crash. It began with a vision of the crash. Then I began hearing the sound of glass breaking. Finally, I began to feel the glass and metal as it crushed my body.

On the last day, I felt my breath leave my body, and I knew I had just died.

It took only a split second to regain control of my senses and, fortunately, we were only a quarter of a mile from work. I pulled into the gas station at work, glanced over at my friend (who was happily clicking away on her blackberry), and FREAKED OUT.

My hands shook so badly I couldn’t grip the door handle. My breath came in rapid gasps, and tears streamed down my cheeks.

What the hell had just happened to me?

I spent the morning, unable to speak (to anyone), wondering how I was going to tell my husband that I was going to have to quit my job because I was too afraid to drive to work anymore. No matter how the conversation went in my head, I could see no way of escaping hospitalization. In a psych ward. Because, even to me, I sounded crazy.

At around 3 o’clock that afternoon, I called my carpool mate (and good friend) into my office and told her what happened.

“I think I had a premonition,” I said after telling her the whole story.

She shook her head. “No, I think you relived a past-life experience.”

After talking some more, my friend asked me if I needed for her to drive home. “No, I’ll be okay,” I said, not entirely sure I would be, but the amazing thing is? I never had that fear again!

Up to that point, I had never really considered the idea of reincarnation. But I certainly liked the idea that I’d had a past-life experience better than the thought that I’d had a premonition of my death. And that night I pulled a book from the shelf that I had purchased nearly a year before (The Instruction, by Ainslie MacLeod) after seeing the author on Oprah’s Soul Series, and began reading it.

As I mentioned last week, I’ve read literally dozens (if not hundreds) of books on spirituality, but none resonated with me like this one. Perhaps it was the book, or maybe it was the timing of this particular book in my life. Either way, everything I read about soul levels, soul missions and past-life fears made perfect sense to me.

The following year, I had three sessions with Ainslie MacLeod (he’s a spiritual psychic, specializing in past-life experiences). I learned about many of my past lives and came to understand many of the phobias and quirks that I have in this lifetime. I learned that I did in fact die in a car accident in a previous life and that, when I had the experience the year before, it was when my soul incorporated all the lessons from that previous life.

“When something like this happens,” Ainslie said, “a significant shift occurs in your present lifetime. Did you notice anything profound change in you as a result of this?”

“Yes,” I told him. “I am no longer afraid of dying.”

Photo via Flikr Creative Commons via Ted Johnson
Photo via Flikr Creative Commons via Ted Johnson

Call it a past-life experience or déjà vu. Call it whatever you’d like. The bottom line for me is that I am no longer afraid to die (okay, maybe a little afraid of the physical act of dying, but not about what happens afterward). I no longer imagine myself stuck six feet under the ground for all of eternity.

I’m free to live my life, and when it’s over, I know that all my loved one’s who have passed before me will be waiting for me. And then we’ll all be onto our next adventure.

What spiritual belief’s help you cope with the fears in your life? I love hearing from you. And to prove it, for every comment you leave, you’ll be entered into a drawing. At the end of the month, I will draw a lucky winner who will receive a $10 gift card (your choice, Amazon, Starbucks or iTunes). Winners will be announced in the first post of the following month.

7 comments on… “The Gift of Fear: Déjà vu or Reincarnation?”

  1. I love your idea of explaining fears through reincarnation. If I have to come back as an inanimate object, I think I would come back as a Louis Viutton purse. Think of the adventures I would have, the places I would go and the interesting things which would be stuffed inside of me!

  2. Adrianne Nguyen

    I would not want to come back as an inanimate object, I want to be a living breathing life force. As a child I had a very bizarre and extremely strong feeling of dejavu come over me. I was about seven years old, and was playing in my Grandmother’s yard. There was a giant tree in her yard, and when I stood beside it, I looked upward, towards the railroad tracks that were there and talk about powerful, I had the strongest feeling that I had been there before. Infact, it was making me feel as if it was something I was not suppose to know. I began to feel nausea and ran away from the tree towards the back yard. I then was feeling better and the nausea began to subside. I just had to find out if it was in my mind or if what I just experienced was real. I decided to go back and see if it would happen again, and lo and behold it happened all over again. Everything from the dejavu, the feeling of it being something I should not know of, and the severe nausea. I do have a strange phobia today and that is one of being extremely fearful of large vessels, aircraft, larger than life buildings, and also claustrophobia. One time, a long time ago, I told myself that one of the ways that life manifests and works itself out is “I wonder if we live over and over again until we get it right” life lessons that is. I seen a new program a night or two ago, and it is a show where a gentleman places people under hypnosis, and then he researches alot of the names and places that the people mentioned. He finds that what they say under hypnosis, and his findings are “dead on”, information that nobody could have known. One of the participants said almost exactly the same thing that I have been thinking ever since I was a kid, in that we live continuously for a reason and that reason is for learning purposes. Now, if that is not validation enough for myself or anyone else out there, then we must be in denial. However, there is no denial with me, I have no choice but to accept reality, the reality of a seven year old’s experience that taught her a little something about life.

    • Hi Adrian,

      Thank you for sharing that amazing story. I too believe that our phobias in this lifetime are the result of past life traumas. There is no other way to explain them (as most don’t have a basis in this lifetime). If you’re interested in this stuff, check out authors Brian Weiss (Many Lives, Many Masters) and Ainsle MacLeod (The Instruction).

      Thanks for stopping by. I hope to see you again.


  3. Adrianne Nguyen

    Thank You Suzanne,
    I will check out Brian Weiss, and Ainsle Macleod. I have to keep them undercover though, I have a roomate that at one time was really extremely “pushy” with Catholicisim, and telling me that my beliefs were wrong. God forbid if I told him how I really feel about Reincarnation. I must say that I have often thought that this might be his first time through life and just doesn’t know or understand these things. I have recently read that Jesus mentions it in the Bible. Do you know if this is true? You see I have conflicts with this, as it goes against the way I was raised…Catholic. Thing is, I cannot ignore or erase what happened to me when I was a child. I would be in denial, or lying to myself if I did. Is Reincarnation a subject you can tell to just anyone, or is it too delicate of a topic to discuss? I feel I have to be selective, that I cannot just blurt it out and talk of it as much as I would like to. Do you know of any types of support groups or Religions even that I could get involved in where I would feel as if I am not alone and could relate to people? Any bit of advice or help would be very much appreciated, and I am glad that you put your story out there, because even that helps people like myself feel a little less isolated and alone. Thank You Suzanne.

    • Hi Adrianne,
      Religious and spiritual beliefs are a very personal thing. I tend to be very open about my beliefs, and for the most part people are accepting of them (not necessarily in agreement with them, but tolerant nonetheless), but occasionally people look at me like I’m crazy or tell me I’m worshiping the devil. You have to decide for yourself what makes sense to you, and how much of your beliefs you want to share with other people. I don’t know of any spiritual support groups, but I do know in most bigger cities you can find “alternative” places of worship (a Buddhist temple or a center for spiritual worship, for example).

      I’m glad my spiritual blog posts have brought you comfort. I hope you’ll continue to explore for yourself and find out what best suits you, belief-wise.

      Take care, Adrianne,

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